Great win and Terrible losses

This was a great weekend....My mother, sister, brother, sister inlaw, nephew, niece and nephews girlfriend came into town.  I haven't seen some of them in a long time.  It was great for the boys to see their parents, and it was wonderful for Randall and April to see the boys.  They arrived Friday evening and we hung out until late that night.  Saturday we drove around Tech and showed them the college ect...It was at Tech that we decided to go watch Tech vs K-state.   The selfish side of me really wanted to go watch the game, but I didn't want to take time away from Randall and April from seeing the boys.  We compromised.  Candi, Rebecca, Bobby, Amber and I went to the game while mom, Randall and April stayed home with the kids. 

We screamed, we yelled and we watched a great game as Tech fell to K-state in a tight ball game....While at the game we kept up with the Rangers who won game six and advanced to the World series.  As bad as it was watching the Raiders lose, it was awesome watching the Rangers win.  It was a great great win....The loss, as bad as it was isn't the terrible loss I'm talking about in the title....

Friday night when everyone came here we hung out outside for a long time.  Rebecca and Mehkya went to the Taylor Swift concert so they missed out.  It was at a specific time when I remember I started thinking about what this blog is going to be about....

The sun was going down and everyone was outside throwing the football, shooting hoops ( I won), running around, riding bikes, flinging the kids around and having a great time.  I remember standing on the porch watching everyone play and my happiness turned to sadness for a split second.....

It is amazing what stubbornness and pride will do to a family.  For years my sister and I have allowed these two disastrous character traits ruin parts of our lives.  As I was watching from the porch watching everyone play, watching Candi swing Kennedy around and Kennedy begging Candi to do it again.  Playing hoops with Bobby and Randal l( I won) and talking trash like we were kids...Meeting Amber and seeing her interact with the kids.  Watching Hannah play with Kennedy and the boys.  Seeing the joy in April's face as she played with the boys and Kennedy....My heart broke for a moment....Stubbornness and Pride made us miss many years of this...treating each other unfairly, talking about each other behind our backs...judging each other....doing all of these things instead of picking up the phone and saying "hey lets work this out"....Why is this bothering me?

Because I really enjoy my family. Sure we have had our faults and we have driven each other crazy...but we are a fun family....We are loud, we are out spoken, we laugh a lot...we are crazy and have crazy stories...why is it so easy to forget about all the good times and focus on the bad?  I dont know, but for some reason we did....As I sat there and took all of this in I thought about how many opportunities we missed getting together and laughing as a family, interacting as a family, and truly being there for each other.  I thought about all the missed opportunities we have had to take family trips to the lake, to the river, to vegas, to anywhere we wanted to go because of stubbornness and pride.  I thought about how I missed the chance to get to know my nephews when they were younger and how those missed opportunities could have impacted their lives...made them better men...I thought about how I should have been there for my sister through trying times she had been through....but instead I decided to not pick up the phone and break the ice.....I thought about my poor mother and how she must feel that her kids were fighting and not acting like kids....I looked at her face the other night and I saw joy for the first time in a long time...watching her watch all of her kids and grand kids act like a family must have been a wonderful sight and WE have denied her of that because of stubbornness and pride.....how foolish we are!  So here is my apology....

To Candi....I'm sorry for being stubborn...I'm sorry for judging and not being there for you when you need someone to talk to about anything...I'm sorry that I wasn't a better uncle to your kids and am sorry that I have kept my kids from you for all these years.  I'm sorry that Mehkya and Kennedy haven't been able to learn from you and that I have failed to allow Rebecca to get to know you and build a relationship with you...I guess I always thought my prayers would be enough and failed to open up the lines of communication.....From the bottom of my heart I am sorry.

To Randall...I'm sorry for not being there for you when you were young.  For not making sure you were following the right path...

To April...I'm sorry that I allowed Randall to act foolish.  I should have been a better example.

To Patrick and Bobby...I'm sorry I wasn't a better Uncle.  I'm sorry that because of my failures as a brother, I failed you as an uncle...I'm sorry I wasn't able to be an influence in your lives...I want the both of you to know that I have always thought about you, prayed for you and will be here if you ever need anything....

To Hannah...I'm sorry I haven't allowed my girls to get to know their cousin.....Mehkya looks up to you and I know you will make her proud.....that you will be a great example for her...

To Mom....I'm sorry that my stubbornness and pride and caused you so much family pain...that it took years away from seeing all of us grow together...These years can't be made up, but I truly pray that we try....

To Rebecca, Mehkya and Kennedy....I'm sorry I failed to allow you to get to know this side of my family.  To Mehkya I'm sorry I didn't allow you to visit Candi and Hannah...I hope that we can make up this time.

We have all failed each other and this stubbornness and pride needs to be reversed.  We need each other because 1 year turns to 10 and 10 turns to 20 ect....before we know it we will be grown and the only thing we will be able to look back on are the good times....it's time to make these years the best....

To be continued...