Sept 11

I've been waiting 10 years to write about this day...

I got home from the firestation and decided to take a nap..I got a phone call from a friend of mine who told me that we were being attacked.  I turned on the t.v. saw what was going on and rolled over, looked at Rebecca and told her that I was about to get a phone call and that I would be gone for an undetermined amount of time.  The confusion on her face said it all....

We had moved to Valdosta, Ga on Aug 18th, 2001.  She had no friends, no family and no job.  September 11th was her introduction into being a military wife.  Shortly after our conversation I got the call and headed to Moody AFB.  Three days later I was gone.......

Months later I returned home.  When I left, Rebecca and I were eating off of an ironing board because we did not have a table at our home.  When I returned she had made our small apartment at twin oaks a home...

She was at work when I got home so I took a nap...I was jet lagged and weary when she tapped me on the shoulder to tell me she was home..It wasn't the homecoming she was expecting for I threw a right cross that caught her in the chest....She let me sleep for a while. (I still don't remember this happening, but i'm assuming it is true)....

Our world was changed..marriage and our first child came in the next couple of years...Because of Sept 11th, I re-deployed on March 17th 2003.  The reason I know the day is because it was two weeks after Mehkya was born...As is the life of a military man...I was gone again to a foreign land away from my wife and my newborn child.......

Today I am a firefighter in Lubbock, Texas and my feelings are strange.  It is tough hearing people come up to me with good intentions telling me they appreciate what I do for a living.  I know they mean well but it is not what I want to be know for.  As fireman we morn for the 343 who died on that tragic day in 2001.  The brotherhood lost many brave men, guys who we should admire and look up to.  But when people in small town USA tell me they are proud of my fire department service it doesn't make me feel proud...

We are public servants...We are called to do whatever it takes to protect our community.  It is honorable that we are recognized on this tragic day, but the recognition should be given to our brothers and sisters in New York, to the men and women who deployed 3 days later to an unknown destination for an unknown amount of time....They are the hero's....I feel many first responders ride the coat tails of the FDNY, NYPD, PAPD and those who helped at ground zero....This is not our day, it is theirs...this is the day they need to be honored, not ours....those who were truly effected by the towers falling...the ones who lost moms and dads, uncles and aunts...to those who were fortunate enough to hug their loved ones because of the men who climbed 80 stories to make sure they were able to get out of the towers before they fell...this is their day...We will never be able to understand what they went through on this tragic day just because we wear the same badge or we watched countless hours of coverage on t.v. ...I am proud of being a fireman and would proudly give my life to save another if tragedy happened in my city......But I don't want to take away from those who sacrificed everything on that day...

I want to be remembered for Sept 14th 2001 when I left the greatest nation on Earth to serve my country...I want to be remembered for March 17th 2003 for the sacrifice of leaving my newborn child behind to serve my country...This is my legacy...

September 11th to me is personal...It is a time in my life where I truly found my soul mate while losing a piece of my soul...It is a time in my life where I realized what true love is with the birth of my daughter while truly understand what true hate is while seeing friends die...It is a time in my life where I realized the true meaning of sacrifice while trying to understand the consequences of selfishness....Will I ever forget? NO....It has shaped me and will continue to do so.....Does time heal scars? Yes....but my scars were healed by the smile of my first born....

9-11-11